I’ve found a hill to die on. Driverless cars. Why? Really, why? If driverless cars are the answer, then what is the question? Who asked for them? Oh yes, they’re fine for the novelty value, for the lols, for the clicks. We probably know someone who’s been to California or China and sent home a video of their driverless journey. Fine fun for feeble minds, if you ask me. And feeble-minded is how we’re all going to end up if this madness takes hold.

It’s been a slippery slope since the invention of automatic transmission, rendering our left legs and arms redundant and sparing us the trouble of feeling our way up and down through the gears. Then there was the coming of satnav, before which time we needed a sense of where we were in the world and which direction we were facing. Now that’s gone, we can find our way anywhere without really knowing where it is. Not good.

But OK; I drive an automatic and I use satnav, so I’ll concede on those, as well as on some of the safety features, cruise control, speed limiter and so on. But the line has got to be drawn somewhere – and it’s time to get the pen out.

There are inventions that fall the right side of that line – washing machines and dishwashers spring to mind. But there’s a difference between labour-saving and lobotomising. I do a lot of driving and, while I often despair at the recklessness and stupidity of some drivers, mostly I marvel at the miracle of skill and cooperation that is the craft of driving. Each of us at the wheel takes responsibility for powerful, heavy machines, working with hundreds, thousands, millions of others to keep things moving. Yes, things can go calamitously wrong, but overwhelmingly things don’t. It’s astonishing, when you think about it.

Will driverless cars do any better? I doubt it. And where will that leave us, the ex-drivers, slack-jawed, de-skilled, slouched without purpose in the back seat? With nothing to do except stare out of the window and dream up more clever-dick tech we could do without.

And here’s the real tragedy – how much the tech-bro willy-wavers could achieve if they put their undoubtedly brilliant minds to better use. How about a gamechanging alternative to fossil fuels, for example, or road surfaces that don’t develop potholes. Feel free to add to this wishlist. If driverless cars are anywhere near your Top 10, then I’m afraid we can’t be friends.

• Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist

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