What do you drive?

A B-reg VW Golf. It has 175,000 miles on the clock, and the syncro-mesh on the gear box is going. It all adds up to a great deal of comedy in a car. Even though I aspire to greater cars and models, I can't afford any. Presumably after a few months paid work at the BBC, I'll be able to afford something a little flashier. A D-reg Golf, for instance.

What do you think this car says about you?

It says I can go from A to B quite easily. Although I'm a great car enthusiast, the Golf probably has me as reliable. I can fit my friends into it, so it's a sociable car. And it also says I have better things to spend my money on, other priorities in life.

What does everybody else think?

If they saw me in it, they'd probably think I didn't care much for the environment. They'd probably think I'm not a car enthusiast. But I clearly am. Not all train enthusiasts own InterCity 125s - unless you're Pete Waterman of course. It's laid back. It says I'm stylish, fashionable.

What state is it in?

It's all right. There's a damp patch in the back. I've got a seal loose somewhere, clearly. Better have it clubbed. I have a pink steering lock - which is a bit gay, in the old sense of the word. It gayifies my car. There, I've just made up a word. I've had it for about a year. It's the only car that I've had, really. For a Top Gear presenter and a car enthusiast, I do get the train an awful lot.

What's it like stepping into Jeremy Clarkson's shoes?

I am absolutely not stepping into those shoes. For a start, nobody could fill them, if you saw the size of his feet. I'm very keen to stress that. I'm very different to what they've had before. I have a bit of northern attitude. A bit more man on the street - the common man.

How would you describe your driving?

Bad. It's a matter of public knowledge that I did crash Steve's Ferrari. I would consider myself a good driver, but most of the population would probably disagree.

Ever experienced road rage?

Yeah, from my girlfriend. She'll often strike me while I'm driving, which is very dangerous. When I'm in London I get generally frustrated at people's lack of manners. I'll let someone out and then a driver behind me will be mouthing obscenities in my rear view mirror. I'm on a mission to educate people and make them more polite. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

Have you ever had sex in a car?

Yes.

Can you go any further than that? Not with you, no. Which paper is this for? The Guardian. Oh shite, my mother reads that. Yes, I have. But it wasn't in my parents' car.

Brendan Coogan, brother of Steve, presents Top Gear on March 25.