I had driven just 200 feet or so in my brand new, uncompromisingly lilac-coloured Daihatsu Charade and I was already beginning to have one or two mild concerns about the car's durability. Something about the thin, slightly elastic "ping" sound that accompanied the closing of the driver's door, plus the uncomfortable sense that this little three-door gadabout was, in its entirety, probably only marginally heavier than a box of Sugar Puffs, combined to inform me that it might be best to take it steady.
Indeed, the thought had swum into my mind that although there is no legal obligation upon a motorist to brake for, among other animals, a cat in the road, it might be a good idea to stop anyway in the case of the Charade because of the high chance that you and the car would come off significantly worse than the cat.
Anyway, there were no cats in sight as, mulling these things, I gently and with extreme caution eased the Charade up on to a kerb, at a speed of no more than four miles per hour, and heard the offside front tyre burst.
At this point, any plans I might have had to cross the Alps in a Charade promptly evaporated. But at least I was wrong to assume that I could pick the flat tyre off with my fingernails while holding the car off the ground with my other hand, and then just squeeze a new one over the hub. Surprisingly, and reassuringly, replacing the wheel was a job involving the usual jack and irons, finally reinjecting some confidence, which I carried over into a further week of driving around in the Charade.
So, Charades, anyone? It's a car, three cylinders. Sounds like... well, actually, it sounds like a hairdryer - but a souped-up, range-topping hairdryer. It has the flat-sided, too-big-for-its-wheels look of a children's theatre prop. But on the plus side, it's Japanese and inserting the key in the ignition causes to unscroll across the instrument display, in dull grey type, the ineffably Japanese message "heLLo, haPPY".
It could be worse. At least it doesn't say "mE love yOU Long tiME". Even so, it's no great work of the imagination to envisage a number of plausible on-the-road scenarios - such as setting off to attend the funeral of a family member, or driving oneself home after a hospital consultation that didn't quite pan out as one had hoped - when it might be a mixed blessing to find your car saying "heLLo, haPPy". Ah, well. When you withdraw the key, the display says, "see YOU Goodby", and, on the whole, I guess it's good to talk.
Conversation apart, here's a reason why you might consider buying a Charade: it doesn't use fuel at all, but runs on a mixture of air and recycled breath. OK, that's a slight exaggeration. It does use petrol, but not enough that you would ever really notice. The out-of-town consumption figure quoted for this car is 68.9 mpg. That's enough to make it the most economical petrol-engined four-seater available in Britain. As a Charade owner, you will have to re-learn where the petrol cap is every time you stop for fuel.
And yet the Charade's plucky 1.0 litre engine will deliver you the fastest acceleration and the best maximum speed available in this class of car. Of course, the city car class is not renowned for its acceleration and its pioneering approach to speed-barriers, nor does it really need to be. But it's something. Plus, when it came to work on the way the Charade rides, Daihatsu claims to have had in mind as a model the much bigger and more expensive Renault Clio. So the engine doesn't shake the cabin apart and the car, being extremely easy to drive, feels cushioned, light and slippy.
Here's another reason for buying one: they're cheap. You can get a Charade for under £6,000, which is roughly what it costs to replace the radiator on a Mercedes. And, given the price, it's a small miracle what Daihatsu has managed to provide in the way of comfort on the Charade's inside. You're lucky to get a steering wheel at these prices, let alone electric windows, a split-folding rear seat, a robust and entirely inoffensive plastic dashboard and carpeting throughout.
But, ooh, that elastic ping. I nervously tapped on the ceiling with my knuckle. It was like knocking on the lid of a biscuit tin. Daihatsu promises us that it has tested the Charade by crashing it into all sorts of bigger cars, that it was perfectly happy - in fact, delighted - by the still recognisably Charade-style shapes in which it emerged and that we need have no concerns for our safety, aside from the usual ones.
But, for all that, I feel about the Charade the way I feel about the Smart car, a city runabout which takes the motorised chair format to an even greater extreme: I'll happily drive one as long as everyone else agrees to. While there are SUVs out there, though, and lorries and, indeed, cats and kerbs, then forgive me if I look for something a little thicker around the edges and a little plumper about the tyres.
The lowdown
Price: £5,995
Top speed: 99.4mph
Acceleration: 0-62 in 12.2 seconds
Consumption: 58.9mpg
At the wheel: Ebenezer Scrooge
On the stereo: Radio 2
En route for: the shops
