Age: 61.
Appearance: Tory politician, drawn on an egg.
What does he do? He's the communities secretary.
And what does the communities secretary do? Good question. The Department for Communities and Local Government was created by Tony Blair to replace the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister. On its website it says: "We work to move decision-making power from central government to local councils."
Sounds as if it is saying: "Our job is basically to do nothing." What does it mean in practice? It means letting people park on double yellow lines.
Really? Well, possibly. Pickles wants to allow motorists a grace period of up to 15 minutes to nip into a shop without being fined.
That's the type of leeway I don't think should be extended to anyone but me. Why is he suggesting it? Pickles thinks that overzealous parking-enforcement policies – along with high legal parking charges – have driven shoppers from the high street.
And are his views shared by all in the coalition? No. Lib Dem transport minister Norman Baker is pushing for higher parking fines.
Has Pickles got the support of influential motorists' advocates such as the AA? No. AA president Edmund King said: "Rather than just allow drivers to park on double yellow lines, a thorough review of lines would be more effective."
I would like to predict that this initiative will never, ever see the light of day. Pickles is a master of the hastily scrapped policy – he dropped his "conservatory tax", aimed at making home extensions energy efficient – but he also likes scrapping fines. Earlier this month he decried "barmy bin rules".
What does that mean? He wants to protect householders that make "innocent mistakes" when putting out their rubbish from heavy penalties exacted by "town hall bin bullies".
Isn't that moving decision-making power in the wrong direction? Well, quite.
Do say: "I remember when a double yellow line meant something in this country."
Don't say: "Give me a break – I just pulled over for a second to dump my rubbish in front of these abandoned shops."
