What does that S stand for, the one after Verso in the name of this car? You might think it would stand for sport, but you'd be wrong. Unless the sport in question is crown green bowling.
There is actually a button inside with "Sport" written on it. But pressing it doesn't seem to make any difference at all. Possibly it whines a bit louder when I put my foot down, like a sewing machine tackling a thick curtain, but I don't think it goes any faster. Maybe the S stands for sewing machine. Or sluggish. Or senile.
The Verso-S is available only with a 1.3-litre petrol engine, but you can choose between a manual six-speed gearbox or automatic continuously variable transmission (CVT). I've got the latter, which allows me to switch to manual when the mood takes me and I'm feeling a bit crazy. It has flappy gear changing paddles on the steering wheel like a Ferrari or a Formula One car, which – along with that S, the "Sport" button, and the tinted rear windows – seem incongruous. More than incongruous, bloody ridiculous. And inappropriate. As if I, an out-of-shape middle-aged man, were to wear nothing but a leopard-print thong.*
The Verso-S is actually more economical when it's in automatic mode, so there doesn't seem to be any point to flapping the flappy flaps. This car should stop pretending to be something it isn't. Because it's actually pretty good at what it is – a practical, no-frills, no-thrills, economical mini-MPV. Sensible, maybe that's what that S stands for.
Or spacious. It may not be especially clever or versatile in the way the seats fold away. But it feels bigger inside than it looks on the outside, and there's plenty of leg room in the back thanks to its cunningly thin front seats.
There is one button in this one that does make a difference – it slides back a blind to reveal a glorious panoramic glass roof. I do enjoy a panoramic glass roof in a car. Not only does it make it so much brighter inside, but it also opens up all sorts of possibilities for when you're stuck in traffic. Ornithology, plane spotting, stargazing. Stargazing – perhaps that's what that S stands for. Except that the glass roof comes only in the higher spec T-spirit model. And anyway, it all goes a bit wrong when I park under a tree frequented by roosting birds, during the blackberry (old meaning) season. Which means that I'm then driving around beneath a canopy of pink guano. I think we know what S stands for now.
* Actually, I am.
Toyota Verso-S
Price as tested £17,313
Top speed 103mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 13.7 seconds
Combined fuel economy 54.3 mpg
CO2 emissions 120g/km
Green rating 7/10
In a word Sensible
