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“Aaaaarggghhh! Oh my God! It’s a Yeti!” I shout a frantic warning to my 13-year-old daughter. My eyes bulge in a mask of pantomime terror (I’m channelling my best All Black haka performance). The creature is behind her, crouching between the wheelie bin and the neighbour’s Mazda, but she doesn’t bother looking round, just swings her bag over her shoulder and saunters off to school with her friends. Oh well, worth a go I think. I pull my face together and wave at a passing mother. It’s like a scene from Outnumbered, only with even unfunnier jokes.
You’ve probably made a Yeti sighting yourself over the past few years. It was first spotted on our roads in 2009, and since then Skoda has sold more than 30,000 of its award-winning SUVs. It’s one of their monster sellers (I’ll stop now, promise). So popular is the Yeti that Skoda decided to create two versions in its latest makeover. There’s now the Yeti and the Yeti Outdoor.
It’s a Jekyll-and-Hyde split. The regular Yeti (Dr Jekyll) has matching coloured bumpers and body trim, a choice of less-powerful engines and two-wheel drive. It’s aimed at families with metropolitan tastes. The Yeti Outdoor (Mr Hyde) is rugged with lots of chunky plastic mouldings. It has bigger engines, four-wheel drive and protective underbody armour so you can rough play with Mother Nature. It’s aimed at families with agricultural tastes. So far, the model most have bought is the 4x4 Mr Hyde with a 138bhp 2-litre turbo-diesel engine. It’s easy to see why. A polished all-rounder, it will do a frugal 50 miles to a gallon and at the same time has the ooomph to hit 60mph in less than 10 seconds. It’s that hint of wildness behind the eyes that we find so attractive.
Of course the true madness of these “country-capable” cars is that they are rarely given a chance to get down and dirty and prove what they’re really made for. Unless, of course, you go looking for it. Driving my teenage son and his mates back from a rain-drenched rugby match in Kent, I decided to throw caution to the wind and abruptly launched off down a muddy and waterlogged lane. I figured the boys were already covered in mud so if we got stuck they could get out and push.
We followed the narrow, bouncing track for several miles, churning up and down greasy hills, wading through brown water and finally ploughing across a sodden field. It was a doddle and the Outdoor took it all in its stride. It was only when I pulled off the muddy playground, relieved we hadn’t ended up in a ditch, that I noticed I’d forgotten to hit the car’s “off-road” button. It had coped regardless. We cruised home along the M20, the Yeti shaking the mud from its paws and settling into a refined, mile-munching stride.
Inside, the two Yeti brothers are identical. Their Varioflex seating system provides you with more than 20 different arrangements – fold the back row flat and the back is van-like in size. The rear seats are mounted higher than the front ones, giving the back row a better view. And the high roof means there is plenty of head and leg room for adults – or 18-year-old rugby players. The standard spec is generous, but move up to the posher trim levels and you also get parking sensors, bi-xenon headlights, heated seats, satnav, a panoramic sunroof and park assist. Nothing, in fact, to be scared of at all…
Are you a record breaker?
A bit of a confession here. For as long as I can remember I have been addicted to the annual Guinness Book of World Records. I’m almost 50 years old now and my mother still wraps one up for me every Christmas. I’ve got quite a collection in the downstairs loo now… Anyway, 2014 has been a big year for GWR as they have been celebrating their 60th birthday. To commemorate the milestone they have released a series of films celebrating some of the most iconic records that have been documented over the past six decades. The series, hosted on the Guinness World Records YouTube Channel, includes never-before-seen contributions from truly great British record holders, such as Andy Green OBE and his fellow land speed racer Richard Noble OBE, Lord Sebastian Coe, Sir Roger Bannister, Sir Richard Branson and Sir Ranulph Fiennes. Have a look for yourself at this link: youtube.com/playlist. One of the best of the series is Andy Green’s. It tells the twist of fate which led Andy Green to discover the project and ultimately pilot the trailblazing, 100,000hp Thrust SSC, which reached a staggering 763.035 mph (1,227.985 km/h), Mach 1.020, on 15 October 1997. I’m still looking forward to this year’s bumper annual, but these super films will keep me hooked until it arrives.
Email Martin at martin.love@observer.co.uk or follow him on Twitter @MartinLove166
