Ah, a Dacia! Rhymes – appropriately? – with patchier, not pacier. From Romania, and finally available in Britain. Oh, but I've got the wrong one. Obviously the correct Sandero to be trying out – and buying – is the very basic model. Because, at £5,995, that is by far the cheapest car you can get in this country. But they've gone and sent me a posher, more expensive model, with a 1.5-litre diesel engine (the basic one is built around, and entirely powered by, a knackered old Romanian donkey, which you kick through a special hole in the driver's footwell where you might expect to find an accelerator pedal).
Yeah, but it's not that posh. It does have a radio, instead of a hole, which is what the cheapest one has. Really. If you want a radio, you fit your own: that hole's for real. The ass-kicking one I admit I made up (this column in no way condones cruelty to animals, by the way). And the basic one is powered by the same 1.2-litre petrol engine you find in some little Renaults (Dacia's parent company), so it'll be fine. This diesel is certainly perfectly adequate.
I've also got remote central locking, and electric front windows, and headrests in the back, and a light in the glove compartment, and I can have it in a colour that isn't white, and more. All of which I kind of wish I didn't have, because the whole point of a Sandero is that it's the cheapest car on the road, and all this unnecessary luxury has bumped up the price a bit.
It's still a bargain, though, especially for a car of its size. There's plenty of room for four adults, and the boot is generous. To drive? Well, maybe I was expecting it to feel like a Trabant or a joke-era Skoda but, you know what, it's really not bad at all. Not the most refined or quietest of rides, maybe. Certainly not the most exciting experience behind the wheel. But everything works, it feels solid enough and safe, and every time we set off from A to get to B, we arrived successfully at B. Even when B was Brighton. By the C…
The only shame is that it doesn't have much of a character. Lots of cheap cars from the past have had a utilitarian charm about them. I'm thinking Trabbies, even those old Skodas, but also Renault 4s, first-generation Fiat Pandas, Citroën 2CVs. But that's because they were all distinctive. Asked to draw one, you almost could (even I almost could, and I can't draw). No one can – or will ever be able to – draw a Dacia Sandero. It just looks like bleurgh.
Perhaps drawing your car – or loving it – is not important. You just want quite a lot for not very much money. In which case, the Sandero is truly brilliant.
Dacia Sandero Ambiance dCi 90
Price £8,595
Top speed 107mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 12.1 seconds
Combined fuel consumption (manufacturer's figure) 74.3mpg
CO2 emissions 99g/km
Eco rating 7/10
Cool rating Mmm... 1/10? 10/10? I honestly don't know
