'It must be from a satellite," says my girlfriend, looking at what appears to be live overhead footage of the car on the dashboard screen. What, so a satellite has suddenly zoomed in on us, miraculously penetrating the thick December cloud cover, to help us park? Or, perhaps, BMW has strategically placed billions of cameras in high places – trees, buildings, monuments etc – all over the world, which beam pictures into the Bimmers below to prevent loyal customers scraping their alloy wheels against the kerb as they park?
Or could it possibly be that the cameras are on the car, looking out from the sides and the back, and that the bird's-eye view of the roof of the vehicle in the middle of the screen isn't actually live footage? I mean, I do love her to bits, but she can be quite thick. They – the cameras – are useful, though, and stop us scraping the wheels – always a problem on posh cars with low-profile tyres.
Anyway, that's not the important thing. The important thing about this car is that it's a hybrid. Like a Toyota Prius? Well, yes and no. Like a Prius in that it combines a petrol engine with an electric motor; but not like a Prius in that this one goes like the clappers.
A Prius is about eking out your gallon of petrol for as long and as far as possible while showing the world how green you are. This one is more about combining internal combustion with electricity for extra vroom and va-va-voom (apols to the non-mechanically minded for the technical jargon) while pretending to the world you're a little bit green.
To be fair, it can be pretty efficient if you want it to be. In eco pro mode, and with a gentle right foot, it's possible to be quite frugal. But switch into sport+ and you can actually feel a little piece of Jeremy Clarkson climbing inside of you. (Eurgh, sorry about that thought.)
Sounds ideal – a car in which you can be the person you should be, as well as, occasionally, the person you shouldn't? Yes, and in many ways this hybrid is brilliant – beautifully integrated, smooth, effortless. There are 340 horses at your disposal, to get you to 60 in 5.3 seconds, but it will also give you nearly 48 miles a gallon and emit just 139g of CO² per kilometre. These figures – and this car – are bloody impressive.
One problem: it costs 40,000 squids. Whoa! (to the 340 horses). That's an eff of a lot of money. Insane, even, especially as you can get a diesel 3 Series with similarly impressive figures (plus a bigger boot because it doesn't lose space to the battery) for about seven grand less. "Well," my girlfriend says, "it must be expensive, getting all those satellites up there."
BMW 3 Series ActiveHybrid
Price From £40,225
Top speed 155mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 5.3 seconds
Combined fuel consumption 7.9mpg
CO2 emissions 139g/km
Green rating 6/10
Cool rating 6/10
