Chirrup! says Tweetdeck, announcing the arrival of somebody's wisdom in up to 140 characters. @Marys_Daughter's, in fact, ooh I don't think I know her, and she's addressing me personally. "Ah," she tweets. "You're the reason for the parade of new cars on my route to the tube." Hmmm, found out. My neighbours on either side know my secret, that I am actually Sam Wollaston the Famous Motoring Journalist; and John the greengrocer at the top of the road does. But I was hoping to keep it at that. I don't like to make a fuss. And I rather like the image I no doubt have, Dollis Hill's man of mystery, so successful he changes his car every week. Or they might just be cross that I'm using up all the parking spaces.

Anyway now @Marys_Daughter, who lives in the next street down, knows, it surely won't be long before everyone does. Cover blown. A few days later she tweets again: "My 5-yr-old is loving the red Beetle this week :)" Well, so am I. @Marys_Daughter's five-year-old is a man after my own heart. I say man, he may be a little woman, @Marys_granddaughter. If it were the previous model, the first new Beetle which came out in 1998, I would have said it was more than likely. Because that was what is known, among less reconstructed – and less Famous – motoring journalists, as a "Chick Car". Yes, it was cute, but no one with a set of cojones on them would want to be seen dead in it. This one – the new new Beetle – has been hunked up and hunkered down. It's longer, lower, wider, prowlier. The windscreen is steeper, the roof flatter (which means there's more headroom in the back); it just has a bit more testosterone about it.

Inside it's lovely – retro chic meets functional modern. I especially like the red interior panels to match the outside colour. And the glove compartment that looks exactly like the one in the original Beetle – it's not very big, admittedly, but there's another one underneath. The elastic straps in the door panels, to store stuff, are a neat touch, too.

To drive? Yeah, nice, pretty much like a Golf, which is what it is really, just with a different body. Precise, engaging, a bit noisier than a Golf because of that upright windscreen.

Crucially, it's still unmistakably a Beetle. Which means it's not just about getting from A to B, it's about getting there with a :) It's a toy, really, a car to make a five-year-old boy/girl passing with his/her mum stop and point. It's a car to bring out the five-year-old in anyone, even a Famous Motoring Journalist.

I tweet back, saying they should ring the bell and I'll drive them round the block. They never do. Starstruck probably. Or weirded out.

VW Beetle 1.4-litre 160 PS six-speed manual

Price £19,475
Top speed 129mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 8.3 seconds
Average consumption 42.8mpg
CO2 emissions 153g/km
Eco rating 6/10
Cool rating 8/10