This autumn's new Highway Code will mention window tinting for the first time, and traffic bobbies are currently being issued with TintMans (meters to measure light passing through glass), although they already have the option of issuing a £30 fine or a prohibition notice ('This means you sort out your tint within 24 hours, lady, or stay off the road').

Most cars are manufactured nowadays with windows approaching or at the legal limit for tinting - letting 75 and 70 per cent of light, respectively, through the windscreen and front side windows. But with the aid of a self-tint kit, a tint-fitting garage or a (visiting) mobile tinter, one can 'go as low as a limo' or even - in boy-racer and rap lingo - 'go 5 per cent' and get 'the full tint, Papa'.

Advantages to having such excessive tinting include far less glare, fewer prying pedestrians and paparazzi, more opportunities for sexual intimacy ('no tint, no bint'), a gangster vibe and fewer moans from hot and bothered sprogs in the back seat during summer (the latter supposedly the reason mothers with 4x4s are currently the country's top tint bookers). The disadvantage is not being able to see where on earth you're cruising. At night and/or when simultaneously sporting sunglasses, you're down to 'a deuce and a half' (2.5 per cent of light); you're 'looking cool, but you're as blind as a bat'.

Fans of 'midnight', 'smoke' and other heavy-tint tones say things such as: 'It might make my car more claustrophobic, but that's cancelled out by getting away with wearing no seatbelt' and 'I'm hoping they become mandatory kit for ugly drivers. There's nothing worse than looking in the rear-view mirror only to see some munter gazing back.'