The VW Passat is built, and priced, to do battle with such dutiful, unfrightening staples of the road as the Vauxhall Vectra and the Ford Mondeo, but it is clear that it has slightly loftier ideas about itself. It's the repmobile that possibly, in its quiet moments alone, likes to think of itself as a limo. Perhaps only upwardly mobile Mondeo Men should apply.
Consider that big, sloping roof. In fact it is modelled on the bubble-shape of the VW Beetle, a move made in a 1996 redesign of the Passat that was forced upon VW by its realisation that this saloon, in its original form, was about as cheeky and as heart-warming as a dishwasher. (It was decided at the same time to make a reference to the Beetle's cuddly wheel arches, which explains the Passat's continuing chubbiness in that area today.)
But on a car the length of the Passat, that curved roof comes across as more grand than cute, particularly taken in tandem with the tinted rear windows available on the latest model. Press up close to peer through the gloom under that big domed enclosure and you partly expect to see a rock star doing something unspeakable with a groupie, or a minor member of the Royal family, waving distractedly.
All the cosmetic changes to the newest Passat seem to be made with a certain kind of upmarket hauteur in mind, as if to suggest a car that people might be driven in, rather than merely drive. Never mind that the car is intended almost exclusively for the sort of driver who is obliged to log thousands of miles per annum at his company's expense. And never mind that pretty much the only thing those tinted windows are going to be protecting from the public's gaze, in fact, is a hanging jacket or two.
There are new, formal pleats in the bonnet, exuding a rare sense of entitlement, and a new radiator grille that glistens like a badge of office. There are additional touches of chrome around the windows and, inside, around the clocks. The result is a Passat that outswanks the Vectra by a factor of several hundred, yet without entirely shaking off the minty odour of the company car-fleet, and without ever quite cutting it as a car of distinction on its own terms.
A feeling that the luxury on offer here is of the cut-price variety is faintly present when one sinks into the driver's seat. Sinks being the operative word. Maybe I got a dodgy one but, controversially, almost no springs seem to have been involved in the construction of my Passat's front seats, and what they offered in the way of padding would have barely served a guinea pig for a bed. The chances are that you have sat in more comfortable cucumber frames.
The buttons and switches quickly restore one's confidence, though, combining soft-touch plastic with tight bolts, rather than tight plastic and soft-touch bolts, which is the favoured combination in most cars under £20,000. You will recognise the switches from the Passat's sister cars - any Audi or Skoda - and appreciate their firmness and the sense they exude (not always vouchsafed in a Vauxhall or a Ford) of a determination not to snap or bend within the useful life of the car's engine.
Keen to look thrusting and executive, my Passat offered reversing sensors to help me go backwards and satellite navigation to help me go forwards, though only on a thumb-size screen that was harder to follow, surely, than any road sign or map - and definitely harder to follow than a bellowed instruction from one's fellow passenger which still, for me, beats hands down the best instruction routine any sat-nav system can offer, even a full-colour one. Far more satisfyingly, come night time, the dashboard lit up in a touching mix of lilac and red, which ought really to have looked like a tribute to some of the seamier areas of Bangkok, but was in practice far more restful than that, and even cosy.
Easily the best thing about this restyled Passat, though, was its four-wheel drive format which VW, rather cloyingly, would have us refer to as "4Motion", as if it were some kind of dance troupe or high-powered laxative. Actually, it was a good deal closer to the latter than the former, especially until one got used to it and in particular to the quantities of grip and whizz it lent to one's accelerations from standing.
At corners, the car clung to the surface like a fridge magnet and glided through. Any sales rep whose journeys frequently take him into snow and ice or require him to slalom between fallen rocks or sleeping sheep, would be advised to consider this set-up. Teamed up with the Passat's 1.9 turbo diesel engine, it could defeat at a stroke most of one's worst prejudices about diesel driving and its noise and sluggishness. It may be no limo, but the Passat can be made to do a passable impression of a rally car.
Surely a diesel is meant to be too busy saving the world to be as startling underfoot as this.
The lowdown
VW Passat 1.9 TDi 4Motion
Price:Yet to be announced
Top speed:127mph
Acceleration:0-62 in 10.4 seconds
At the wheel:David Brent
On the stereo:Peter Gabriel
En route for:Swindon
