... to Jeremy Clarkson, for being voted 'Most Distinguished Old Reptonian ' (Repton is a minor public school in Derbyshire) by sixthformers, an achievement which knocks former champion Roald Dahl into second place. So what was Jezza like at school then? Pretty wild, you might imagine. Or maybe not - Russell Muir, maths teacher of 30 years, remembers him in the Times as "rather grey" and adds: "He didn't distinguish himself in music, sport, the arts, anything." So could it be true that Clarkson wasn't expelled for smoking, drinking and bunking off with local girls as he suggested.

Strip me, you saucy thing!Vintage car owner Tony Lowe has restored his red Humberette, with the aid of some HP sauce. After advice from his friends in his local pub, Lowe, 52, used HP sauce to remove grime from the radiators, mirrors, lamps and horn of his 1914 two seater Humberette. Good work, Tony.

Quote of the Week 'This morning, pretty well everything went wrong. The electric gates broke again, trapping the postman in our garden - a garden that was being systematically eaten by some cows which had escaped from the paddock. The baby was screaming, the three- year-old had put an entire loo roll in the lavatory, the four-year-old was refusing to eat her cereal and the nanny was in Canada, skiing. Me? Well, I was lying in bed thinking that, all things considered, I was pretty damn glad to be a man.' Jeremy Clarkson, Sunday Times